If you love your boyfriend, how much shit are you willing to put up with? Most women proclaim automatically that they would drop a man in a minute if he did her wrong. “I wish he would blah blah blah” those types of threats are emptier than Toni Braxton’s bank account. Women take “The Title” serious. They change Facebook statuses, they find excuses to call ex- boyfriends so they can rub it in; they have to tell everyone they know because it’s a big deal to find love. The double edge sword is that once you tell everyone you’re together you have to deal with everyone asking what happened when you break up. Besides the obvious “but I love him” excuse I think fear of failure is the second reason women stay with their asshole boyfriends longer than they should. Women don’t want to admit that it didn’t work out. I could break up with a girl and not think twice about how it makes me look. More than likely only four people breathing knew she was my chick anyway. Men don’t spread the word when they give a girl the title, if someone asks you might tell them, but we don’t scream it to the heavens like women do. Pop quiz hot shot: Tony broke your heart but you love him, what do you do? Do you keep putting up with him or do you throw in the towel and admit that you didn’t pick the right man.
If you said you’d break up with Tony you’re lying. I know a lot of women. I’ve seen the cockiest bitches humbled by no good niggas. We all have. Everyone reading this knows some egomaniacal broad who got fucked over and didn’t jump ship. “Oh we working it out girl, we ain’t going to let that stop us” *proceeds to nod head then talk shit behind her back*. On the flip side maybe Tony is a good dude, he just strayed a little. We are men; we are bound to fuck up. I don’ care if it’s getting caught sending perverted text messages to an ex or sleeping with some random girl, mistakes are made by the best of us. If Tony’s a good man to you and he gets caught in a Bill Clinton moment—you should forgive him. Girls don’t like that answer unless they’re in that situation. It’s so easy to tell a woman to leave a man, never have I seen a woman tell her girlfriend to stay with a man who’s’ done her dirty. Hanging in there through thick and thin for a man that’s worth it, that’s what a good woman does. Hanging in there with a man who keeps disrespecting you, that’s what a dumb bitch does. Look at history, Hillary Clinton was a Good Women; Jackie Kennedy was a Dumb Bitch.
A Good Woman Knows Her Man: Your boyfriend likes Puerto Rican girls, loves to flirt at work, and sneaks off to the strip club whenever he can. When you’re with a man you know everything there is to know about his likes, you’re not dense enough to think that you’re the only girl he looks at. A Good Woman knows that her man is on Facebook poking bitches. She knows he’s lying when he says, “I just went to the club cus Mark wanted to go”. She doesn’t care about any of that because knowing what tempts him keeps her one step ahead of him. I don’t have a type, I haven’t had a type since I was a teenager, but my girl can take one side eyed glance at some girl ringing me up in the store and tell me I would fuck her before my mind computes that I would do awful things to her if I could. She knows me. Good Women have a blueprint of their men. If and when he does step out of line he won’t be able to bullshit and lie because she can tell by the situation that it is something he would do. Him: She’s trying to break us up, look at her and look at you, be serious. Her: Green contacts, Haircut like Rihanna ’08, body like a 12 year old girl, she looks just like the bitch at Wing Stop you flirt with—that’s exactly who you would fuck with. You’re fired. …Know thy man!
A Dumb Bitch Thinks Her Man Is God: Your boyfriend doesn’t like any girl but you. He wouldn’t give another girl his number. He doesn’t have time to cheat. Oh you simple dumb bitch let me fetch your Seeing Eye dog. Stevie wonder can see that he’s fucking that girl on his job, but he gets home and tells you, “I hate that trick, she’s annoying” so you don’t feel threatened. Dumb bitches are easy to cheat on because even if you get caught with a broad she will protect you. “I’m not making excuses but we did have an argument earlier in the week, so technically…” He fucked around on you. Face facts, he’s not Perfect. The more you continue to think that he’s better than every man walking the more leverage he has to sling his dick to the world.
A Good Woman Addresses The Problem: Your boo cheated. What to do now? You don’t fight, you don’t cause a scene, you don’t act out like a child—you deal with it. If you’re not ready to walk away from him, then that means you’re ready to work through it. He fucked you over and now you have to figure out why he slipped up and how many times he slipped up. A Good Woman doesn’t turn a blind eye to the past fucks either, she lumps them together. “You fucked that other bitch, now who else did you put ya dick in? You need to come clean before I decide if you’re worth my time”. She may stay, she may go, either way she handles her business like a grown ass woman.
A Dumb Bitch Attacks The Other Woman: Don’t argue on the phone with the other woman, especially one who fucked your man, you look weaker than Gandhi doing a pushup. She fucked your man, calling her a hoe isn’t going to make her cry. She’s not the hoe—your man is the hoe. Paging Doctor Dumb Bitch, She’s not in a relationship, you two are. Your man takes care of you, your man loves you, your family is strong—but your pussy apparently wasn’t Yankin because he’s fucking another girl. If you discover multiple calls, receipts, and all kinds of incriminating shit on your man—why would you hunt down the woman? If she’s a Spartan, she probably had that nigga spending your money at the Cheesecake Factory, had him on the phone beating his dick with your fancy bath and bodyworks cream, and had him driving your car to come pick her up. She’s won. You lost. To any woman who gets that ratchet ass call in the middle of the night from some bitch you didn’t know existed remember to keep your cool and say, “calm down sweetie, I didn’t have sex with your man, we did go out to a wonderful dinner and he did eat my pussy, but I told him not to eat my ass— you’re welcome” that dumb bitch will call back, but that’s what the ignore button is for.
A Good Woman Needs More Than An Apology: I watched my homie kiss ass for over six months when he cheated on his baby’s mama. His apology was sincere and they were together for a minute so you would have thought she would have given in after a few weeks, but she was a Good Woman and saying sorry and bringing roses doesn’t mean shit. You broke someone’s heart—that’s not repaired overnight. A Good Woman doesn’t rush back into the fire, she walks away from it, she takes time to cool off and evaluate her next move. The calls will keep coming; he will want to go on dates, and talk on the phone all night. All that shit he used to do when you first got together– all the shit he should have been doing throughout the relationship is back because he doesn’t want to lose you. A Good Woman isn’t impressed with a month of courting, you have to work to regain her love, and that’s how it’s supposed to be.
A Dumb Bitch Is Happy with Make Up Sex: I told this girl I cheated on her and had sex with her the same night. I didn’t get head, but I got the ass, and that was great for me—but damn was that a dumb bitch move. No dick is good enough to go from tears to moans in a span of 8 hours. No amount of ass kissing should make us cool after a week. If I fuck around and my penalty is eating your pussy 15 minutes longer than usual, I should fuck a hoe a week! Dumb Bitches have no bite. They bark all year about what you better not do but when you do it, they’re quiet.
A Good Woman Doesn’t Throw Rocks: Don’t act like your relationship is the greatest story ever told, you motherfuckers will not be on a park bench reading your life story while Rachel McAdams acts it out. You two are normal people trying to live a normal life together—mistakes will happen on both ends, but you deal with it. A Good Woman realizes this and doesn’t try and make her situation seem larger than life. When a Good Woman is going through drama, her friends will be there to support. When a Good Woman has to break up with a no good bastard, you don’t laugh behind her back because she never pretended to be in an unsinkable ship.
A Dumb Bitch Lives In A Glass House: Leave it to the Duchess of Dumb Bitchia to throw a fucking parade when she found a man. Not only was he the most attractive guy ever, he had so much money, he took her everywhere, and the sex was worth several tweets a day saying something like “he just left, I need to smoke a cigarette #subtweet” This nigga is not Peter Pan, he’s not even Rufio. I don’t know how much ferry dust you’ve been sniffing but Never Ever Land doesn’t exist. It blows me how girls love to floss on their own friends. These are your FRIENDS why would you try and brag when they know the real story? But good friends are quiet; they talk amongst themselves and give you enough rope to hang yourself. When your baller boo is revealed to be just another lame ass nigga who played you, who do you run to? You run to those same friends who you tried to style on. Oh now you want to admit that he wasn’t that cute, he didn’t have a job, and you stayed in the apartment all the time. We’ve all witnessed the “In Love” Facebook girl who turns into the “fuck men” Facebook girl. Those hoes come off as pathetic. I don’t care if you’re dating the King of England, any relationship can end and any man can be revealed as a piece of shit, save some face– don’t pop shit.
Ending a relationship because your man cheated or stopped treating you right is a decision only you can make because only you know if he’s worth keeping around. But be smart enough to step back from the situation and assess what kind of man he really is. No one can call Vanessa Bryant a dumb bitch because we don’t know what kind of man Kobe really is. If Kobe’s an asshole and she’s staying for the money—then you know what category she’s in. If he’s a great father and good husband, then she has to put Colorado and any other girl he ran through in perspective. As a bias Laker fan, of course I’m going to say she’s a Good Woman.