A Black Jersey Shore? Oh Hell naw

I love Jersey Shore. I love the dumbness of Ronnie the sluttinest of JWoww, the ego of the Situation, and the thick girl sexiness of Snookie. I enjoy watching as they all get drunk, get laid, and argue in stereotypical fashion. It’s like a night at one of my favorite white boy bars in South Philly. But as I watched last season, I would often think, it’s truly 2010 and white people are just as niggerish as Black people. But the thing about Jersey Shore is that it could never be done with Black people. You couldn’t move this show to Atlantic City and put 8 black people in the house. I mean you could, but it would never make it to TV. Instead of Proud Guido’s or Guidett’s talking about tanning, hitting the gym, and fist-pumping you’d have someone saying “Yeah I’m proud to be nigga, ya heard me? Smoke tree, play x-box, fuck bitches, ya heard me? I ain’t going to no beach, fam, goons don’t swim


I often hear people say, no one wants to watch shows about Black People, meaning Middle America isn’t into it. Which may be true. While VH1 “of love” shows are a staple of Black culture, it was Rock Of Love that had mainstream audiences talking. You would hear Ryan Seacrest recap it on his national radio show, E would cover the girls in depth, People Magazine, US Weekly, they all were talking about this raunchy show that was so bad it was good. NEVER did I see anyone talk about Flavor of Love, Ray-J, or Real/Chance like this. Sure my Black friends did, Black websites did, but hoes like Hotwings and Deelishes were never invited on Jimmy Kimmel. It’s clear that American media is white ran, and white fueled, and thus Black Reality TV, while it nets enough eyes to make money for lesser networks like VH1, will never be as big as White Reality TV. I mean, Tiny and Toya on the cover of Entertainment Weekly? Doubtful.

jersey shore Pictures, Images and Photos

So why would millions of people across the country rather watch a group of Italian goofballs instead of a house of Black goofballs. Despite one semi-racist argument from my homeboy who said “black girls aren’t as attractive as Italian girls“, I don’t think fuckability is a factor at all, you can fine an attractive person of any race to throw on these shows. I think white women would be just as attracted to David “Punk” Otunga from I love New York as they would be to Pauly D. To me, It’s the OMG factor. When you see Snookie take her panties off in the hot tub, it’s like oh my god. When Ronnie knocks someone out “one hit kid” in the middle of the street it’s like, oh my god. It’s shocking to white America but cool, because now Little Jimmy wants to tan and get 6-pack abs. To the older White adults these kids who look the same as their cousins, son, sisters, etc.. doing these wild and rowdy things is jaw dropping. People in Buttfuck Utah or WhereAmI Idaho don’t get to see shit like this. For people in larger cities who go clubbing, white people getting drunk and acting a fool is normal. But let’s remember most of the country is made of suburbs and rural communities.


When you get Black people on TV doing the same thing as Ronnie and Snookie, there is no OMG factor. It’s just niggas being niggas. Oh they’re fighting again—typical. Oh she’s having sex—typical. It’s expected for us to act that way when we’re out drinking. Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and the rest of the cabal have tried hard to get those images out of the minds of white America, so a show a Black Jersey Shore would be bashed for being stereotypical and exploitive before it even aired.

goon Pictures, Images and Photos

Me and my friends use to joke that they should make a Real World Bmore or a Real World Compton. Take it from the mansions to the hood. Or have one year on Real World where most of the cast is Black, with one token White person. It was fun to joke about back then, but even without knowing, we knew that would NEVER happen. These networks are deathly afraid of isolating their Middle America apple pie audience. ABC will never have a Black bachelor on The Bachelor, and MTV will never do a Black Real World, it’s just not in their business model. As much as I think My Life As Liz re-imagined as My Life As LaKeisha is a good idea, maybe America isn’t ready.


I accept all of this, and I’m perfectly happy watching Chad Ochocinco walk around the field telling gold diggers “Sorry baby, but you’re cut. But isn’t that more exploitive than putting young Black people in a house and letting them be themselves? Just saying?


The Bad Girls Club is one of my favorite shows, I’ll admit it. But I GURANTEE that the bad girls club will cut down on the amount of Black cast members next season. Just like MTV’s Taking the Stage got rid of all but two Black people when it returned for a 2nd season. It’s like when a Night Club has hip-hop night one night out of the week and the goons come out. Next week they change the dress code. Goons still come. Week after that they change the music, Goons still come. Finally they shut the club down, change the name, and that’s the end of that experiment. Reality TV is that club. That’s a polite way of saying: No Black People Allowed.

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Unicorns and Bomb Pu$$y… Fact or Fiction?

Many young girls are obsessed with being a princess, bright pinks, and unicorns. Fairy Tale shit. Many grown women are obsessed with being a wife, bright bling, and having the best pussy on the block. Fairy Tale shit. Like the mythical Unicorn this notion that one girl’s vagina is better than the next girl’s vagina has no basis in reality. I mean it’s not like a woman has the power to sample her own vaginal goodness, then taste test her best friends. So where does this idea that “One hit of this, and he’s sprung” come from? Above this is Rosa Acosta^^ she looks pretty good and has a big butt. Does this mean her cookies are legendary? Hell no, Precious could be a better lay, but externally Rosa would be a better candidate for bomb pussy of the year because Men want to believe that.


Men Lie. Of the girls I’ve had sex with, roughly 90% of them I can remember telling “Damn ya pussy is the best” or some variation of that. Did I mean it? At the time yes because I was up in it, hell, I would have said “I love you” that’s how euphoric intercourse is. But given the fact that these days I can’t remember some of their names, I know that wasn’t true. On the other hand, I do remember certain sexual encounters vividly, not because her coochie was phenomenal, but because she was extra with it. Women like to say it’s not about the size of a man’s dick, but the motion in the ocean. The same thing applies to her cookies. It’s not about how wet a cooch is, but how she takes dick, rides dick, talks nasty, etc… that part is memorable. Let’s go into a few myths:


My Shit stay wet: Yes some girls tend to be more easily aroused than others, just like some guys may take a little longer to get rock hard. Levels of wetness can be a gift and a curse. A girl, who gets too wet, don’t have that friction you need when you’re up against her walls. And the sensation of an overly wet pussy isn’t as potent especially when you’re rocking a condom, even without one on (sorry I’ve had lots of unprotected sex, don’t try that at home kids) a flooding wet cooch is more of a bother than a treat.


My Juice Box is phat: Men love looking at the lil Kim Hardcore picture, and pornstars in too tight bikini’s and say “Damn her pussy is phat”. Women hear that and think automatically that it matters. Men are perverts we just like looking at obscene things, doesn’t mean it reflects your juice box’s yummyness. The “girth” of your vagina lips is not an indication that what lies between those legs is any better than what lies between say a chick with a non protruding box.

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Every nigga that been in it say I’m the best: Again, opinion by a male to boast your ego so he can continue to have sex with you. I’ve had bad sex, and I didn’t scream out “This is so inadequate!” I moaned and groaned and got my nut. Called her again and did it all over again because even though she was boring in bed, it was a level above jerking off to the same damn Kapri Styles DVD. And if you interview every girl your man has been with and ask them what he said, I’m sure it’s the same thing he’s been telling you.


My Pussy taste like Fruit: I’ve never seen Pussy flavored Snapple, so um no, it doesn’t. Any girl that tells you their shit taste like a flavor is an idiot. I repeat she is an idiot. You can finger yourself all night and convince yourself that eating all of those strawberries has effected your secretions, but it hasn’t. All clean pussy tastes the same, like a moist bunch of nothing. Anything else is all in his or her’s mind.


He tricking all of his bread: That’s what tricks do… duh. Before you met that trick how many dudes done hit it and quit it? How many dudes got money out of you? It’s okay, honey didn’t mean to call you out, give me a hug, you know you’re the best.


It’s Tight: I don’t want to struggle for three minutes then have you tell me “stop, you’re being too rough”. But your counter would be, “you don’t want it loose”. I’ve had sex with tight near virgins and it sucked ass. I’ve had sex with this one loose freak, and I remember her because her shit was like a well with no bottom, and I busted like three times back to back, no lie. You would think the girl with tight walls would have won that battle, but she wasn’t as nasty as the other girl, so it even though it was loose it had a better effect. Call it Ratchet hoe magic.


Here’s the best way you can tell a girl is bluffing on her bombness…

Beyonce Pictures, Images and Photos

You have no ring on your finger: If all of these girls have the bomb of all bomb coochies then why are they single, why are they on their 4th baby daddy? Why hasn’t Tiger Woods paid you money to hit it? Why are they on the phone with Dope Boy Lamont from the block telling him how good your shit is? That’s like Lebron James being at the local Rec center and telling everyone he belongs in the NBA. It can’t be that good if your last two boyfriends left you for someone else or the best you can land is a guy who’s in and out of jail.


Now all you ladies reading this, I’m sure you all have very fine vaginas that will keep your boo satisfied, but sex isn’t about the physical it’s about the mental. The brain makes you cum, not the coochie. If she’s extremely pretty, your mind will enhance the feeling. If she has a nice body, your mind will go into the gutter and make you think “damn I would eat her out all night”. Once you are in the act of sex, don’t be quiet, don’t give directions, fuck like a porn star! Don’t hold back until you’re on the second date, if you’re going to fuck him, put it on him, because if you don’t the next girl with the so called “bomb” will.

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Black People Racist against.. Black People?

My mother likes to use the phrase “Black ass motherfucker” a lot. I didn’t notice it until one day I said it in regards to a woman at a store who was pretty dark skin and had on bright red lipstick. My girl said, “bay!” scolding me for making such an ignorant comment. While I harbor no negative feelings towards our darker brothers and sisters, the fact of the matter is most Black people often say ignorant shit just like that. Hell my cousin is as dark as Celie from The Color Purple and he spent his child hood insulting people his own complexion by saying “your black ass!”


What is it about complexion that makes people get up in arms? Why is it that Black people are so concerned with Light skin not coming back in style but at the same time ready to crack an Akon joke at the drop of a dime? Is medium brown the only shade that makes a person exempt from jokes?


My homie Will from Bmore had a girlfriend when we were teenagers, I can’t really remember how she looked, but I remember thinking she was attractive when I first met her. Their relationship seemed to be going okay, and then the jokes started. Oh, did I forget to mention that this girl was “Black as hell” as my mother would say? Will’s cousin and a few other homies from the block wasted little time in cracking jokes when she would leave. “MY GIRLFRIEND BLACKER THAN THE DARKEST NIGHTfrom the Tupac song was a constant source of comedy. Will couldn’t say anything to diffuse it, he just had to sit and take it, I mean yeah she was dark, but so what? But when they started to sing it around here, that’s where the friction began. Obviously no stranger to those kinds of jokes she knew what they were talking about and it became a problem. Not a month later Will left the dark skin cutey for this brown skin chick. I’ve never asked him if her complexion was the reason they broke up, but I’m sure it attributed to it, not because he cared, but because to a teenage boy, what your homies think about your girlfriend is important.


Growing up I didn’t much care, a pretty girl is a pretty girl, regardless if she’s “high yella” or “burple”. Hell I use to choose Foxy Brown over Lil Kim in the legendary “which would you fuck” debate. Which brings me to my first love, who was just as black as my boy Will’s chick. Luckily for me I didn’t have a gang of niggas hanging at my house and cracking jokes and truthfully her complexion wasn’t an issue until… my brother made an offhand joke. I was with this chick for about a year when my Brother called her “Wesley Snipes” now my brother was young at the time and like most kids you don’t say things to hurt someone, you say it because it’s funny to you. My mother laughed it off, and said, don’t say that. But the key is… she laughed at his Wesley Snipes joke.


Man, did I get the blues a few weeks down the line. Like most girls she held that incident in and didn’t say anything. But I knew something was bothering her, and finally she admitted that she was upset with me because of what my brother said. Like a typical guy I said, “I didn’t say it”. But it didn’t matter. And my mother laughing at it was the icing on the cake. She told me about growing up around all white people and being teased because she was different. Her best friend was this yellow bone and she saw how guys treated her differently (which then explained why she didn’t trust me in the same room with the girl EVER) just because of her complexion. I apologized on behalf of my family and we put it behind us, but I know to this day that shit cut her deep. After our relationship had ended my home girl told me she was happy because she was afraid I would have a baby with a girl that dark… how fucked up is that?

tiny toya

I’ve fucked with (see the other blog for definition of “fucked with”) a lot of dark skin girls, one in particular I still say is one of the baddest chicks in the world, and it never crossed my mind not to holla at a girl because she’s not “light enough”. But I’ve seen it a lot. Shit I was at the gym last month and this guy was telling a story about hooking up in Vegas with this girl, and the adjective he used was “Man, Shorty was bad, she was tall and light skin” the response from his personal trainer was “Word!” I shit you not! When did the words “tall and light skin” equate to dime? I can see if he added, had a phat ass or had pretty eyes. The fact of the matter there are just as many ugly light skin girls as there are dark skin ones, but if you’re from the hood (or listen to Rap Music) it’s automatically assumed that if ya boy says, “she was light skin” that means she was bad. I’ve never once heard someone say man this girl was dark skin and petite. Instead they’ll say, shorty was small and mad pretty, totally bypassing color because it’s never used in a positive way. Anyone else see the problem with this?


On the other side of the fence, females are the exact opposite. For some reason the majority of Black women put little stock in complexion. Sure they’ll bust on a person for being too light or too dark just like we all do, but when it comes to dating, females use the term dark skin in a positive light, hence the term “chocolate brother”. I have seen numerous girls say “I don’t like light skin boys” I’ve never seen a guy say “I don’t like light skin girls”. Shit is weird. I have no explanation for any of this; shit my head hurts just trying to decipher the deeper meaning of Black on Black racism. All I know is that I can’t bring a “black ass baby” home to my mother.

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I Fucking Love Lindsay Lohan

When I say I Love Lindsay Lohan, it isn’t some blind admiration for a celebrity or some demented crush by a fan. I really love her unconditionally. Every generation has that one person of immense talent who just fucks up at every turn, but in today’s TMZ world of cell phone cameras and instant access, Lindsay Lohan seems heaven sent. A modern day Maximus dragged into the coliseum to do battle not with a crazed animal, but with herself. Every new headline, arrest, and lesbian affair is a proclamation by the great one, “Are You Not Entertained”.

The Ten Reasons I Love Lindsay Lohan


10) I know who killed Me: It may be one of the worst movies ever made, but to watch it is to watch a woman so totally fucked up that it has to be a miracle from god that she can deliver her lines in the first place. Rent it, and keep in mind that after every scene they were yelling “CUT! Lindsay needs a hit”.


9) The pipes: she can sing. I’m not talking about Jennifer Hudson level, but in the J-Lo, B. spears category, she delivers. Check out her song: Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father). Talk about Daddy Issues.

Lindsay Lohan Pictures, Images and Photos

8) Not Too proud to bag: With no one willing to hire her, Lohan went to her pal Curtis Jackson aka 50 Cent and asked for a one million dollar loan… did she repay it, no one knows. But how gangster is she to tell a nigga “let me hold something” and never see him again.


7) Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories: Remember on The Dave Chapelle show when Charlie Murphy told stories of hanging with a coked up Rick James? This would be better than Rick. I wish to god I could be a fly on the wall at Hyde or Chateau Marmont when LL is in the building. “What did the white girl say to your face?” SMACK!


6) Coke head hot: Let’s not deny the obvious. 98 lbs or 130 lbs, Lohan Is a sexy beast.

5) Poor Lil’ Fire Crotch: The infamous Paris Hilton teasing of Lindsay Lohan was one of the greatest examples of “when bullying goes wrong”. Not only did Paris ban Lohan from hanging with her. She insulted Linds in public several times referring to her simply as “ the fire crotch” with Paris’s then boyfriend adding “I think she’s worth about seven million, which means she’s really poor. It’s disgusting. She lives in a motel, in New York.” For the first time Lindsay became a sympathetic figure in Hollywood.

4) She’s gay, sort of: Asked if she was a Lesbian she replied “Maybe… yeah.” From the Butch DJ, to the Israeli Soldier Girl waiting outside of the court room, the fire crotch seems to have no problem finding chicks who want to see if her Herbie is fully loaded.


3) Blame the Black Man: After kidnapping three guys in a GMC Denali Linds went on a wild ride down the PCH at 100 mph. They say at one point, Lindsay boasted, “I can’t get in trouble. I’m a celebrity. I can do whatever the fuck I want.” Once the police arrived and arrested Lindsay, she did what any white girl in trouble would do, “the black kid was driving”. Boo yow!


2) Mean Girls: One of the greatest movies ever made. And no matter how bad the movies after it have been, you can always go back to Mean Girls and say, “this little bitch had it”.

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1) She just doesn’t give a fuck: I love Linds because she knows she’s a mess. She knows coke is bad, she has a drinking problem, and her mother and father are evil people. Yet she still talks to them and does drugs unapologetically. Lo’s knew she was on house arrest and still went to France to party. I know hardcore criminals who won’t leave their mother’s front porch for fear of the ankle bracelet going off, and this bitch goes to the south of France??? She’s paid millions of dollars to be in movies and doesn’t show up. She turned down a role in The Hangover that could have revived her career. Why? Because SHE DOESN’T CARE about anything but getting fucked up. …that’s my girl.


In the end it may seem like I’m applauding suicidal behavior but the one person I don’t worry about is Lindsay Lohan. Like Robert Downey before her she’ll get her shit together and be loved by the masses. Ten years from now she’ll do an interview talking about how wild she was and everyone will laugh and think it’s cute. Until that day, I’m going to keep enjoying this ride.

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Why Women Aren’t Allowed to Cheat

If a man is in a relationship or simply dating multiple women at the same time, he’s a player, a pimp, a stud, “the man”. A guy’s power to lure in several women at once and keep them organized is what young boys dream of. When I was a kid my Uncle told me, “Have as many Girlfriends as you can afford”. But even that’s gone out of the window with the modern day woman who don’t require a dinner and a movie. So now it’s “Have as many Girlfriends as you can stomach”. I’ve never been the type of guy to mess with more than four girls at one time, not because I’m morally pure, I just didn’t have patience for– clicking over on my phone and hearing “fuck you gotta call me back for? Who you talking to?”


If a woman is in a relationship or simply dating multiple men at the same time, she’s a slut. That’s the end of conversation. It doesn’t even matter if she’s having sex with them, to the outside world its like, “wow… you’re out there sucking all of those dicks. This is why females invented something to get around this it’s called “I Talk To…” No woman is ever truly man free; they’re always “talking to someone”. A man never says that, instead we’re “fucking with…” a chick. To say “Talking” when you’re a guy sounds soft, like you can’t seal the deal. To say “Dating” sounds like you’re a trick, spending money on a hoe that you’ve haven’t smashed yet. Let’s break it down further.

WOMAN:

Talking: Conversating, going out with, nothing serious

Dating: Going out with, chilling at the crib with, something may be there

Seeing: That’s your boo.

MAN:

Trying To Fuck With: Got the number putting in work.

Fucking With: Took her out, invested time.

We Cool: Had sex, may have sex again, but if not, it’s all good, got what I wanted.


The thing I find amusing about girls is that they can’t like two people the same way. Say a girl is “talking to” 3 guys and then one of them steps up and she starts Dating him. Those other two guys get the shaft, I mean yeah she’ll talk to them and even keep her blossoming relationship a secret, but those other guys now get ten minute phone calls, and it takes a few hours to return their texts because she’s focused on the person who’s winning her heart. That’s an amazing thing. Sure she’s keeping these two guys around as a backup penis, but mentally she’s passed them over and it’s just a matter of time before she stops answering their calls and those guys get put on “facebook” duty.

Tiger's wood Pictures, Images and Photos

Men are greedy. If we find a new girl that we want to handcuff, those other girls don’t go anywhere because we still want to smash them. If anything we get more confident. I had way more sex when I had a girlfriend then times when I was single. When you have a girl you’re comfortable, pussy is no big deal because it’s at your beck and call so you don’t hold back when talking to other girls. A guy in a relationship is doing triple summersaults with a safety net, he’s fearless. It’s interesting really, because now you can talk any kind of way you want to when dealing with those other girls, tell them you’re not taking them out, call them when it’s convenient to you, and ignore their calls at will, because you don’t care. You would think a woman would be like “fuck him, acting brand new”. But they don’t. For the most part women like assholes, they may not know why you’re being a d-bag, but it’s exciting to them. That’s why it’s hard to let them go even if you are starting to catch feelings for your main chick. It’s like you’re telling me I can have a main chick who I hang with all the time, then have side chicks who I can talk to any kind of way and call at all hours of the night and they’ll be down for whatever, all I have to do is put up with the occasional “teeth sucking” and “you ain’t shit” comment? Sign me up!


Of course that’s a fun life, and I know a lot of people that still live life like that, but eventually someone finds out and it all crumbles, but it’s a win because you lived the life of Hugh Hefner for a few months and are now free to start that process back over. Females are smarter than Males. They cherish relationships so they’re not going to be that reckless. But at the same time, women have urges and temptations to.


A woman won’t cheat with the guy she’s been “talking to”. She’s going to cheat with a new guy or someone from the past that comes back into the picture. But here’s the key difference. A chick will tell the guy that she has a man. A man can’t say that because 80% of females don’t want to be the other woman. 99% of men don’t mind being the other guy, because in our minds we’re not sharing, we’re “fucking” his wifey, in the words of Carlito—that’s cool. So why is she a slut and he’s not? They’re both being horn balls, they’re both violating trust. It’s because of the word FUCK. For another woman to say “That’s why I fucked your man” means nothing, it’s saying you allowed yourself to be penetrated by someone who is committed to someone else. She’s the idiot for being smutted out. A Main Chick could care less if you “got the dick” because that’s not a woman’s main goal in a relationship. On the flip side, for a Man to tell another man “That’s why I fucked your bitch”. That’s the ultimate insult in the world and the reason Tupac is dead.

Tupac & Faith Evans Pictures, Images and Photos

MAN: You let him fuck you? You’re a nasty hoe! We’re done!

Woman: You fucked her? You trifling! Wait until we get home!


Everyone can forgive cheating, but a Man has pressure from his friends, he can’t be with a girl who EVERYONE knows cheated on him. A Woman can forgive despite her friends talking shit… unless she says: “That’s why your man brought me this bag, gave me gas money, took me to eat, and paid my rent!”. Now that’s the worst thing a woman can find out. A woman can accept you falling into some pussy, but she will never accept you giving another bitch money that should have gone to her… EVER!

Moral of the story, cheating is wrong either way, but if you’re going to do it, Women—don’t get caught. Men—don’t get caught tricking for it.

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Have Black People Taken over Twitter?

I’ve been on twitter for nearly two years now and I’ve seen the way it’s grown… not in terms of people but in terms of Blackness. I mean it can be funny at time, but other times I wonder, “Any white person that clicks on this trending topic will have proof that niggas are just as ignorant as always, even in Obama’s America”.


Twitter was suppose to be a constant update of what you’re doing in your daily life, then it evolved to one big ass open ended IM Chat session between people who want to tell the most ignorant jokes or complain about why he/she isn’t in a relationship. Let’s call it what it is, bored people with no life, those same people who you use to AIM with, until you realized they weren’t talking about shit and quickly set your status to “invisible”. Now while some tweets are still updates on “what I’m doing” and general “commentary on what’s going on” the majority are people who post the #lonelytweet aka “I wish he was here” or “what yall doing” followed by “twitter is weak tonight, I’m off this “ like someone gives a fuck that you’re getting off twitter??? All social networking sites, be it Facebook, myspace, YouTube, are full of Attention whores. But Twitter is ego stroking on crack and a popularity contest where even the most average looking girl in real life can take a picture with her boobs spilling out and have people dick riding her day in and day out. I would love to see the some of the Twitter DM’s of the pretty attention whores. I’m sure it’s filled with Thirsty men (and some women) kissing ass and trying to mac from thousands of miles away just because she tweeted “I’m so horny right now lol :) ” But let’s focus on the infamous trending topics. For those of you who don’t twitter, I’m going to break down the good bad and the ugly on the #TT’s.

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The Funny:

#moviesthatshouldbeporns: Fun with Dick and Jane dominates this one.

#itampon: when the ipad dropped this was trending for days

#ifsouljaboysarapper: The easiest target in Hip Hop, Soulja Boy is constantly a source of jokes.

#theuglyfriend: my all time favorite although by the looks of some of the people tweeting jokes, the ugly friend doesn’t know they are the ugly friend.


The Heartbroken and bitter:

#Whywebrokeup: Guys go in with jokes about girls being ugly or sluts. Girls go in even harder about guys being dogs.


#Firstdatethoughts: Sometimes funny, other times sad when you realize that some people are bullshitting and never been on first dates, just a blockbuster movie and a one night stand.


#Sidechicktweet: This is a recent one where people are going in on girls who don’t know they’re the sideline hoe. a few women tried to get a SideNiggatweet going, but It quickly died down when they realized they were making themselves look like promiscuous whores.


#Withyobrokeass and #V-Day: am I the only one who found it funny that these two were neck and neck on Valentine’s Day?

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The Sexual

#3wordsaftersex / 3wordsbeforesex / 3wrodsduringsex: Yup the freaks come out at night. Talk about #twitterafterdark, I’m nasty to a point, and dudes on twitter go in hard with the x-rated, but since the majority of the people I follow are female, my jaw dropped when I read some of the shit coming out of these girls mouths. I mean, I don’t mind, but you do realize this stuff is being catalogued by the government now, don’t you?


#Uainthitnitright: Another female inspired trending topic about guys with weak strokes.


#Gooddick #goodpussy: This is the one that got banned from the list. It was the first one where I realized that Black people had taken over twitter.


The Racist

#Thingswhitepeopletweet

#Whitethoughts

#whitecursewords

#Goodhair

#Teammixed

Nuff said


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I read an article where a white woman wrote that late at night she gets on twitter and reads “What Black People Are Doing” not because she’s racist, but because she finds it fascinating, she went on to applaud the hilarity of the late night “black twitter” as oppose to the “white twitter” of the day time. I agree, I sometimes sit reading the shit and laughing because it is genuinely FUNNY AS HELL if I’m laughing with them or at them is another thing. But another part of me, a small part, feels sad and ashamed because this is Black America unfiltered. And it’s like wow, “Do you really want to put yourself out there like that?” these people are keeping it all the way real even down to the fact that they can’t spell! If it comes off as low brow, and idiotic, so be it, they’re having fun. Twitter is a real life look at what “average” black people do. They watch BET, They hate on the Lakers, debate what rappers suck, they worry about school work, they complain about boyfriends (strangely I’ve never seen a guy complain about their relationship on twitter…), talk shit about what people wear, sell mixtapes, go to low budget modeling shoots, drunk tweet after the club, seek attention through slutty pictures and dirty talk, but most importantly, they entertain me.


So what if Twitter has become overrun by ignorant Black people who drink Moscato and spend all day watching TV. When I’m in chill mode it makes me happy that I can scroll through my timeline and be generally entertained on all fronts. I love Twitter and all of the people I follow. My advice, if you can’t stomach niggas, then don’t get on twitter. If it doesn’t bother you and you want to laugh, follow as many black people on twitter as possible.

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Niggas & Their Award Shows


Wow, what a long ass show. But I only had to fast forward four times so I guess that makes it a success. Debarge killed. Chris Cried. Rick Ross proved that no shirt is too small. Young Money is bringing back Wu-Tang ’97. And Dirty Money proved that looks don’t matter, it’s about what’s on the inside.

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But the funny thing is… why did Usher preform? Did we really need Keyshia Cole last night… do we really need Keyshia Cole AT ALL??? Why the fuck was Prince wearing a shirt with his animated avatar on it? Why the fuck didn’t Prince perform? Why the fuck didn’t Prince say “Game… Blouses” and fix everyone pancakes? Why is does Trey Songz’s sexy Mother look younger than Chilli (and probrably gets more men)? Who let all of those RATCHETS in the audience?
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Was it me or did you hear Queen Latifah’s Panties FLOOD when Alicia Keys climbed her pregnant ass on that piano? Their is a Heaven, and it’s under Alica Keys’s dress.
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Ciroc and Pineapple Jucie… Oh You Fancy Huh?
Nicki Minaj in her Iron Man 2, Black Widow costume made me erect…
Rocsi and Terrance kissing changed that quickly…
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What was up with the Microphones? BET spent all of their money on bringing back The Game they could afford a proper sound system? Eminem and Nicki Minaj were screaming over their reference tracks.
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Did I mention the way Nicki Minaj makes me feel?
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